Archive for May, 2010

May 25, 2010

Francis and Me

I believe Spring is trying to fool me that it is summer. It’s humidly hot, sun blaring from the sky, and my skin is easily burning. Feels like summer.  I’ve been putting off the sewing, spending some catch up time in the sun. Lately I sit next to the pond with my sun hat on and my toes dipped in the water for the fishes to nibble at. Francis, the friendly pond frog, has recently been keeping me company while I sit at the pond.

Truthfully, it is too warm to be spent indoors and I’m waiting for some fabric arrive before a newer project can begin. So when it begins you shall be updated, but until then I will be sitting on my stone with Francis.

May 18, 2010

Dull Knife

I always sleep with the window open. Rain, snow, or shine. Smells like life, sounds like birds. It’s been raining for the past three days and I can’t pull myself to do anything or be satisfied to do nothing.  I sit at my sewing table, daydreaming while the rain air breathes into the room.

I love how the trees look like they are being pulled to the earth.

Anyways, I’ve spent the  yesterday and this morning looking for a project to inspire me… I’m out of luck. I’ll start to quilt and stop.  Looked through all my sewing books for something to grab me, but to no avail. Pulled out all my patterns, went to two fabric stores, and I could not begin anything.

I feel like a dull knife.

May 16, 2010

Without Medication

I’ve spent the weekend working and without time or energy to  sew/create, I feel a little stir crazy. So on my Saturday night, with no plans in mind, I spent it at Joann’s. I’ve been trying to support my local fabric stores for all my fabric purchases, but I was out of luck by 7 pm.  So I just shopped around, looking at books, patterns, and any other sewing accessories I may need.

Here is what I got.

Vogue 1174.

I’ve never made anything so detailed, but with plans to go to a wedding in October… I think I have time.  All the bells and whistles in this pattern. It calls for boning (which I am a complete amateur with), china silk lining (NEVER sewed china silk before EEP!), piping, and suggested fabrics like damask (?) and brocade (at least I’m familiar with that term). I’ve never actually sewed from a vogue pattern either! I was told at Joann’s this was going to be difficult.  My biggest worry is not using the fabric suggested. Do I have to use china silk for lining? Do I have to use brocade or damask if it’s suggested in the pattern? I would like to use a tweed or a similarly heavy fabric.

On a different note, I am having a very difficult time being a server. About a year ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. A little late for my time, I struggle with focusing, anger, and obsessing. At my previous job, with health insurance, I was medicated with Vyvanse and Celexa. I was calmer, more focused, and quiet. I lost my appetite and a lot of weight… and with that my personality. I was always known for being a firecracker with a quick wit and quick to anger. After a year of being blander than plain oatmeal, I decided to go back to school and lost my insurance.And with time and my new job, I adjusted to my old ADHD-ness. That is- until my manager commented on my ability to focus.We all have strengths and weaknesses- mine is focusing. With my mind speeding faster than my hands can move, I can leave things forgotten and to the wayside. But what bothers me is the way my manager brought it up to me. He began with immense compliments of my personality: quick wit, humor, ability to connect with customers… then about my focusing ability. When I told him that I was diagnosed with ADHD, he asked me when was the earliest I could be medicated.

I do not like myself introverted. I do not like the lack of creativity the medication prohibits. I do not like to say I “suffer” from ADHD. I like myself with ADHD, it has helped me connect in the fastest way possible to other people, projects, and ideas.  Medication for the core of who I am, the person I was designed to be, is like surgically removing a song bird’s voice. Yes it makes things quieter, but her melody is gone. And yes the ups and downs may be decreased to an average middle, but the expansive explosion of freedom is something my ADHD has engrained into my skeletal personality.

In other words, I like me. Without medication.

May 14, 2010


I’m going to ignore the fact that this is my first post, except in title and first sentence.

Finals are over and I can now take a deep breath and relax. But relaxation itself has become a renewal of creativity, a burst of energy, an itch to produce. This past semester I’ve only had time to study and wear away at work. I’ve had four days off and I’ve spent it craftily! On Monday was finals, spent in classrooms and in libraries. Tuesday I began and finished a yoga bag. Wednesday and Thursday morning I also spent making another yoga bag for Joe’s mother’s bag. Thursday afternoon was a day of sanding down an old chair I fell in love with last year. And today, between laundry and before work, I think I will continue the long process of quilt patches.

Yoga Bags

It’s more of a distraction than anything else, I’m keeping myself busy on purpose. Joe left on Sunday morning before dawn. Work training that mandates atleast 3 weeks away from home. Last time I heard from him he had stopped in Chicago with his not-so-friendly trucking trainer at his side. I miss him.

So with distraction as the name of the game I think I am going to come up with some more projects to busy my hands and calm my thoughts.

1.I would like to bake…something. Not sure what. Cupcakes? Muffins? And I would like to make blueberry jam.

2.Finish sanding, paint, and reupholster the thrifted chair I’ve begun. Upcycling is what it’s called I believe.

3. Quilt. FInish the damn thing I keep changing. I’ve never quilted before, self-taught, and stubborn.

4. Maybe taking a quilting class to make the whole process easier.

5. I’ve got a lamp kit and I’m fixin’ to give some light to my sewing table.

6. Pillows.

I think that should keep me busy for awhile.

May 14, 2010

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