November 11, 2010

Small seeds

So slowly I’ve been going. Ohio can be a bit of a drag with the changing of seasons, love/hate relationship. Everyday I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled for farm apprenticeships, when the right one skims by- I SNATCH that email up and try to write a comprehensive summary of Joe and I. Only one so far has replied back, but not one that stipend can support us. So far MT, CA, GA, and OR have been the most promising for agricultural opportunities.  I wish I was financially able to apprentice without a stipend, it would make this process so much easier. Hopefully they will see the passion and earnestness seeping through every word, and eventually the seeds that were sown will be reaped into a fantastic opportunity.

I keep telling myself not to put all my eggs in one basket. It’s a very hard thing to swallow. If no one comes forward interested, I’ll have to volunteer locally at some farm, which wouldn’t be terrible, but I would like to an intense learning experience.

Maybe this shows how inexperienced I am, but I kind of think it is a scam for farms to want their interns to pay to work for them. Paying for an education makes sense, but not when the farm is making money off of your own back breaking labor. Only a small percentage  of farms I found do this, mostly it’s no stipend or pretty small. Joe and I aren’t asking for much, I just have to cover my car payment (stupid decision to get a car loan).

 

My fingers are crossed.

October 26, 2010

O-HEY-O

I look at the people around me and wonder, if they feel the want I feel. A deep aching for something more. Are they content, where they sit and listen, or are they deep in their souls unfulfilled like I wish them to be. It’s more like a burning, what I feel. Need to move. Need to be there. Sometimes I wonder if I was on my medication if I would feel this way.

I need to make a plan- every day I will get closer to my dream. I called up a stranger who lives in a different state and owns a very successful farm (from what I can tell), didn’t get a hold of them, but none-the-less it was out of my comfort zone. Every couple of weeks I re-post my volunteer application for local farms in ohio. No one ever replies. I know it’s october and it is cold, but honestly, I like to plan. AND it’s volunteer work, doesn’t someone need to feed the animals in the cold? AND I’m offering to do it free. I just want the damn experience. I’ll do the dishes for goodness sakes, just give me a taste of your farm- FOR FREE.

 

Maybe the only way you swim is to jump in the deep end. All that water over your head can get kind of heavy though.

September 14, 2010

Excuses.

Blogs are hard to keep up with. Especially since if you are really planning on something to happen, and it doesn’t- the blog will only remind me of what didn’t and was supposed to happen. All day I make excuses to everyone, the last place I should make excuses is here.

Land, chickens, freedom.

August 27, 2010

I don’t know if this is actually going to happen BUT- a lovely future home drifted across my path. Wooden floors, a dreamily large kitchen, a guest bedroom/sewing room/ or office. This is where the cookie jar would go– oh and we would need a nice area rug, and look at the porch. Just lovely.  Sigh.

It’s all I think about.

Well that and now I REALLY need to save my money up. And that is why I didn’t go out last night. Saved myself the god knows how much on drunken supplies. This past weekend, the boy was home, and we spent a doozie on going out and enjoying ourselves.

I’m not much in shape, nor do I particularly enjoy working out. So when the boy was home we got some used tennis rackets and had a ball. My new favorite way of working out.

And isn’t this clever?

(from country living)

August 20, 2010

Granola.

I love Zooey Deschanel.

I loved making this for the boy. Beginnings of a care package: blueberry granola.

AND- I love finding new blogs to inspire my recent cravings of farm:

http://freshfarming.blogspot.com/

August 19, 2010

Quilt like

I would say I’m a fifth of the way done.

GET BACK TO WORK!

August 10, 2010

Barnheart

My muse and hero, Jenna Woginrich, has so delicately and flawlessy described a life I want to live.

As a younger self, I thought I wanted the city life of an artist. Now as I get older, my perspective is changing. Land. Animals. Nature. Love. Community.  But to map the path to get there is a challenge in itself. I just was accepted to Ohio State’s Agricultural Technical Institute (ATI), My orientation is coming up in two weeks. Overall, how wise is it to spend over $20,000, on a life where I will not be able to pay that back? Tell me I can still have this life without the headache of loans! Tell me.

I suggested to my mother of not going to school this fall. Due to lack of jobs in the college area ( I was not lying), and to recent ideas of saving all my money. Freedom.

Maybe I will go to school, but I think I’ll do on a smaller scale. Maybe not even a technical “school”, just classes.

Anyone know where to go? I’m free.

http://coldantlerfarm.blogspot.com/2010/01/barnheart.html

August 5, 2010

Me-ow

So I’ve been quite crafty these days. Yesterday I finished my lamp for my sewing room, and finished my linen shorts. The shorts I’m annoyed with.  Simplicity 3850- my stupid mistakes plus the shorts came out too big. I still wore them.

I still have my serger sitting on my desk, begging to be used, but alas the damn thing is nonsensical. So knits- you are going to have to wait.

So what now? Shirt, dress, skirt time? Maybe a tie dye skirt- I know it’s late in the season, but it’s still something I want to do!

August 4, 2010

Mint Blue and August Peach

My productivity levels are up and down. With that said, I still feel like I’ve gotten a lot done! I still need to find an apartment, a job, and figure out how to move.

Don’t you just want to sit on it?

July 27, 2010

Jadeite

Blogging procrastination. I’ll write now, or in a few, or tomorrow…maybe never? NEVER!

One day at a time. Being a person just recently diagnosed with ADHD, sometimes I have to purposely slow myself down, take a breath, and realize what the hell is going on. What the hell is going on?

Well I never made that jam. But I did pick seven pounds of blueberries. And I never finished those shorts… They look like they didn’t work out. I have no idea what the hell happened. BLAME IT ON THE ADHD. (or not). I AM going to finish the chair I began to re-upholster. And it will be fantastic. It will be like jadeite kitchenware, timeless with modern spunk.

I’ve had a major falling into things in the past. Art School. Nanny School. Every new job. Prescriptions. All were going to save me from myself. I don’t know what has happened to me recently, but I am happy. I want to give, and live, and love, and be. Yes, I don’t finish a lot of things. And I’m very good and starting many things, but I like giving and living and loving. I love a lot. He makes me be. Settle then float. After five years I’ve learned to be. And no one else could give me that.

What I am amused by now, mostly, is the expectations of everyone is nowadays. What did you want then, and compared to now?  Wither away and here I’ve composted.  Growing in the corner of everything is my self-made self. Homemade butter, handpicked blueberries, self-taught sewing,  alone read blogs, and practiced failing art of being one.  I shouldn’t care and go on to silliness.

By the way… Agriculture is so much cooler than art school.